Musafir hoon yaaron!

But, I should get back to the plot : How 'Drive' will drive you nuts?

2011-10-16T04:57:00.002-07:00

It’s been nearly 10 days now, not nearly, it’s exactly been 10 days now. 10 long days since I have seen a movie. And, for most normal people it might seem fine, to me such a vast stretch of time without watching a movie is taxing. And, the self imposed moratorium on not watching another movie till I finish this ~~review~~ (essay or piece) on Drive during one of the more exhausting week at work seemed like a bad idea. But, it’s Sunday and I finally get on with the task.

I like movies, from the chick flicks to the mindless action ones. But, the movies I always love aren’t the ones which are punctuated by plot but the story moves forward because of the behavior and actions of the characters. And, ‘Drive’ might not have a strong emotional core, but its eponymous untitled/unnamed lead character ‘Driver’ is so well fleshed out and acted by Ryan Gosling that it doesn’t even matter that the movie is all surface, all shine and style over substance.

As evident from the trailers and the title, the Driver drives and he does a real good job at it too. In the opening scene of some lovely editing and camera work, we see him outsmart not out speed a bunch of cops chasing after him. We see that he works as a stunt driver by day and a getaway driver for heists at night. Yet, even though we are just 15 or 20 odd minutes into the movie, we realize that there’s something odd about him. Ryan Gosling lends him his skin and his good boy aura, but we can easily sense that there’s some sort of restlessness, an overpowering anger brewing inside. We realize that all this driving is not for the money or to even show of his skills, this man, is only at peace when his hands are on the steering. And, that’s the case with so many of us, we all tend to do things in times of crisis that makes us feel in control, some resort to cooking, some to eating, the Driver clings to driving, because that is his domain.

And, then enters Irene (Carey Mulligan), his neighbor who seems to be single mother. Though Drive is all surface, the director Nicolas Winding Refn manages to get this one detail right. When the Driver offers his help to her and her kid, we see him showing some real emotion for the first time. Something inside him moves for sure. And, it’s obvious that there’s some mutual attraction between him and Irene. Instead of going to the wall to wall banter in romantic comedies or heightened antics on the part of the hero, we just see them looking at each other and grinning. Grinning like a bunch of teens that are falling in love and besides no matter what age you fall for someone, you can’t help but not stop grinning when you see that person. The lovely comfortable silences between them and those innumerable times they just look and grin at each other are a reason enough for me to watch this movie again. Yes, there’s barely an exchange of words or ideas or feelings between them and even without that, it doesn't seem superficial. Their’s might be the chastest courting in the movies of our time. Also surprising the vast number of scenes Drive goes on when nobody utters a word; it’s as if the world inhabited by the Driver is a laconic one, where people speak only when needed to.

The plot kicks in and the grinning stops, Irene’s ex-convict husband Standard returns from prison. He is asked to pull a heist or his family would suffer. The Driver volunteers to help him. And, before I describe you what happens next, which well is quite obvious more or less. Let me just point a few other details I liked. The first time, the Driver and Standard interact, he tries to intimidate him, but the Driver just stands there, unfettered and smiles politely. And, this is his reaction to most scenes; he stands there like the white knight. And, the framing and the slightly canted angles whenever he is interacting with the scum in the movie, only elevates his stature and nobility. Drive might be a neo-noir film (and a good one at that) with its heist plans but Refn dissects it with some fairy tale elements too. Carrey Mulligan could any day play a damsel in distress/ Snow White character and she is directed and shot in a way that only enhances the immaculate attributes of her character, Gosling’s Driver as the knight, her husband as the vile King and in a very surprising turn Albert Brooks as Bernie Ross, the evil witch/ demon, you know the works.

Also I wish I could post a screenshot of the scene, with some clever framing, we see in the same frame Gosling’s blurred reflection, Benicio and Irene and Standard’s photograph stuck on a mirror. And, we know that the framing only shows how the Driver turns into a surrogate father/ husband and the blurred reflection only puts forward the broken, still incipient nature of the Driver’s character, of how he is some simulacrum of a human being, all the parts are there, but not all of them function. This motif is repeated throughout the film and in some really clever ways. But, I should get back to the plot.

The heist as most heists in films go, goes wrong. The Driver is pitted against two crime lords Ron Perlman as Nino and Albert Brooks as Bernie Ross. The action scenes that follow are all impressive, and shocking and excessively gory. You know, the director is doing his job right when each time a gunshot is fired, you are taken by surprise. Ron Perlman brings great gravitas to a thankless and underwritten role just by his sheer physical presence and the timbre of his voice. But, what really stands apart is the way Albert Brooks, one of the funniest men working plays Bernie with shaved eyebrows, which I dunno why make him look more evil. Each line of his dialogue is uttered with just the right note of nefariousness and duplicity. He is the exact contrast of his partner. We see him bring the irate wise crack element from most of his movies giving an interesting edge to this villain. He isn’t the bloodthirsty sorts, he is the sorts who hate spilling blood, and it’s only a necessary work hazard for him. As per the badass villains in recent times go, Bernie Ross is surely legendary and might just get Brooks his well deserved and much delayed Oscar nod. Note to self: Shaved eye brows can make anyone look menacing.

As the heist goes wrong, the Driver shows some real character and loyalty. He does everything he can to protect Irene and her son and when after the final bloody battle, he drags himself in the car. Stabbed and bleeding, he goes ahead and drives, as the song in the background says with some delicious irony ‘You are real human being and a hero’ and only to punctuate the idea established so far, that he is not a human being. Irene was his last chance are redemption and as he abandons her and a whole load of cash, we see that he too knows, he’d never again come close to being human.

The tone of Drive is uneven and that’s what adds to its magic. From the quaint silences to Bernie’s venomous rants, it has it all. It even has the best kissing scenes in the history of celluloid. The Driver and Irene kiss each other in an elevator in slow motion. The incandescent lighting matches the subtle score by Cliff Martinez and heightens our satisfaction to see them finally DO something. It’s a perfect movie moment and then, the Driver bashes the henchman next to them and crushes his skull into pieces. This scene perfectly captures the tone of Drive and both these contrasting actions are given their due weight by Refn. It’s no surprise Refn picked the best director’s prize at Cannes.

Refn also has a great eye for detail; Drive is full of some wonderful framing and clever camera work. Shot on Arri Alexa, the movie is full of neon lit evocative imagery. I guess what the many shades of black and white meant to noir are what neon provides for neo-noir films. The DOP Newton Thomas Sigel juxtaposes the glitzy night life in L.A with the gritty images of isolated gas stations and deserted highways. The background score from Cliff Martinez is wonderful and pushes and paces the plot just right. The song ‘Tick of the Clock’ used perfectly in the opening scene would be stuck in your head for a long time. Some might say for a movie called Drive, there’s not just enough driving. A woman is suing the film makers because she expected something similar to the Fast and Furious franchisee and I realized, there are only 3 chase scenes. Even I wanted some more driving, not for the chase or thrill of the action, but because they were crafted so well. But any more of those would be pointless, each of them helped to propel the plot forward, they weren’t there for the action itself. And, after some more pondering I realized, the movie isn’t titled as Drive in the sense of use of the word 'drive' as a verb. It’s the use of the word as a noun, more than the act of driving; the movie is about the Drive that pushes the driver to do the things he does. From the grinning to the neon lights to that scene in the elevator, I so have to see this movie again. And, soon.

Things which make Life worth Living

2011-08-30T09:33:00.000-07:00

Of course, in no particular order, sparing my friends and family from this list because of privacy issues:

1.Making someone smile

2.To glimpse the first rays of a sunrise

3.To have someone to hold while watching the sun set

4.Damien Rice’s lyrics

5.Woody Allen’s banter ( Of course, I love ‘Manhattan’)

6.To be loved beyond reason

7.To be reasoned with love

8.Have a stranger smile at you on the street or the train or the bus or anywhere
possible.(Makes living in a big city seem a lot less colder)

9.Taking a photograph that requires absolutely no editing

10.To know that even though your life may not amount to everything you had hoped it would be, you would still be loved and taken care off (Fine, I may never win a Palme D’Or, or a Golden Bear or a Golden Lion, I still have a heart of gold. :P )

11.To say everything there is to say by just simply looking into someone’s eyes.

12.To talk to a friend till 4 in the night despite having college at 7 in the morning, hoping to alleviate some of their pain or worry or if you can’t do that,then, just giving them company, so, that even if they are up all night worrying,they wouldn’t be doing it alone. Yes, even misery seems better with company.

13.Sipping hot coffee or tea on a rainy days near a window with a view

14.Having lovely conversations on long walks

15.Watching movies without commercial breaks on Star Movies at 1 in the night

16.A well written and well reasoned piece that also manages to show some warmth and
flashes of humour

17.Playing with my neighbour’s toddler

18.Lying on a bed of grass and watching the stars (Haven’t done this since a long
time)
19.Losing myself in a bookshop

20.The smell of a new book

21.Special footage and Director’s commentary on DVDs

22.Having the pleasure of enjoying a great meal for which you did not even move your finger

23.Still having the scent of your loved one on you, even though they left hours back

24.Footwear that really breathes

I’d love it, if you would leave comments and add things that make your life worth living to this list. Spare a minute to do that, it’d only make you appreciate what you have more and maybe jolt someone to appreciate what they had all along, but never noticed.

A note to whoever is still reading, some background into what went into writing this:

To even begin writing a list with such a lofty name would only serve the purpose accumulating schmaltzy clichés in a row. I have heard and often experienced, that whenever we are talking about things personal to us, our first kiss, that guy / girl who got away, chance encounters or divine interventions, we tend to talk in clichés, it’s almost like when we are expressing things closest to us, we become so conscious and vulnerable, that we tend to say things which we have heard others say and hope it’d sound or make us seem ‘normal’. Hence, you hear your guy/girl say ala Jerry Maguire, ‘You complete me’ and maybe you do too, or maybe you make him feel things that his vocabulary hasn’t equipped him to describe, yet. Or it’s just safer to go with a cliché than to risk saying what one really feels and be taken for a fool.
So, in describing things which really make my life worth living, am trying to be honest and as open as I can be, parts of it would make you nod; parts of it make you a naysayer. But, nonetheless, these things make my life beautiful and worth living and this was my way of showing gratitude for my life, when I was suffering from a terrible bout of Dengue (I pronounce it in a very Indian way and call it –Den-GU). It wasn’t exactly a near death experience, but boy, it hurt, and it hurt so bad. They call it the ‘breakbone fever‘ and there is some piercing accuracy to it alright! My back taking the worst hit, which as it is, is never in a good condition; I couldn’t even lie down for long hours and was so week, I couldn’t even manage to sit up for a short time.

To those who don’t know me personally or to those dropping by for the first time, don’t take me to be an OTT optimistic guy, my bouts with cynicism sometimes last longer than the great depression. And, my everyday diatribes make ‘Goodfellas’ seem like a nursery rhyme. (The word "fuck" is used in it for 296 times, for an average of 2.04 fucks per minute. Of course, it made Tarantino twitch)

I was also working on a ‘Things that make life NOT worth living’ List but I chucked it out, there’s enough cynicism in the world as it is, for me to add my proverbial two pence to it. Just so you know, Michael Bay’s movies did make it on the list.

Goodbye, kids!

2011-04-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

Hey, back here after a long time and am hooked to the world of flash fiction. Don't let it's brevity make you doubt the many virtues of it's verity, it justifies and ennobles the power of words, as only a few words/ lines strung together, bring about an evocative piece of prose.

I was fascinated by Camille LaGuire's flash fiction contest hold on his website 'The Daring Novelist' & here, is my entry for it, 'Goodbye, Kids.' A little description: It's a bleak sci-fi story, taking place in a world, where organs trading is a booming business and an old man struggles to come to terms with his mortality and his own morals, as he realize he could actually do some good to his family, if he bid them adieu.

*

‘No, not me, I won’t be reduced to the vestige of the man I am’, Adam promised himself that he wouldn’t live long enough to see himself or his loved ones suffer. Yet, he stood there, holding his chest, curdling in pain. He had seen his father gasp for every breath of his life, struggle and then, disappear into a lifeless stupor for hours, as if he’d passed away; and then, suddenly, he would cough again. His coughing was the only sign of life his pale body showed, the same body with which he saw his father run to work, take him to the museums, piggy back him home, to save a few cents. Yet, he found himself walking down the same path as his father. His catheter hurt, he needed Maria. But, he stayed quiet; he could hear her cry again. It had become a ritual of sorts, for Maria and Kael to start their days like this.

‘We tried that and it’s not working. Will you stop crying? You aren’t making it easier for me.’

Tugging to the things she had bought for their baby, new shoes, a blue sweater, and little stuffed toys. She pleaded for more time. Kael was stern, and she was inconsolable. Adam knew she needed some time, that this too shall pass. He knew what it felt like, to outlive your own child. He had done it before and too much his dismay, twice.

‘We have to sell it all, seeing it every day does you more harm. Pull yourself together, we need the money too, Grandpa needs his medicine and with the sales at the pet shop, it ain’t happening.’

With each of his sentence, she wailed in pain and despair. Adam wanted to yell at Kael, ask him to be patient. His body did not provide him such luxuries and even if it did, how could he? Kael was a good man, to both him and Maria. He wasn’t family, yet he gave him sponge baths and held his hand when his chest hurts. It was only the second time, Kael got him angry. Kael bought home a brochure from the International Organs Council and said they would pay a good deal for Adam’s body. Adam was angry, bitter at how this man could be so cruel and calculating. Yet, it took Adam more time than he had thought, to come to terms and accept that, he was doing these kids no good. Why should they spend their youth serving him? What good was he to them? Nothing but a parasite. And, it was Maria who said, ’He is family, all that’s left of my family...our family.’ Kael never raised the question again. He was a good man, of course.

Adam picked up the brochure from the trash, leaping through it he realized how his abstinence would be generously rewarded, his kidneys and body weren’t a dime a dozen! They would send people over as per the donors’ convenience. To his relief, the ‘process’ was relatively painful and he'd leave all this pain behind too. He weighed how the money could help Maria. She could finish college or finally buy an apartment for them. They could finally re-decorate their pet shop. There were many times he got to the phone, but could never manage to dial. He knew, it was the right thing to do, but he wasn’t ready yet. He was ashamed; he wanted to live. Live longer. Despite having outlived everyone, he once knew, he wasn’t ready to give up his own life.

Kael packed the things in boxes he had got from the shop. Maria continued to cry, he seemed distant, but Adam knew, he was only helpless. His heart went out to them; he questioned Maria’s logic of wanting to keep him. He barely met her as a kid, took her to places like normal grandparents or protected her from her mother’s wrath. Yet she nursed him and cared for him, without complaints and always with a smile. She could never finish College, but if she did, he knew she’d surely go places. He remembered her telling him about the baby. For after years, he had felt something like that. To feel joy, hope all over again; to finally feel alive after ages. To see them smile and paint their little house. And, only two weeks later, they found out, they couldn’t have their baby. Tay Sachs or something they said. The details skipped him lately.

Kael finished packing and left to buy postal stamps. Maria dragged herself around the house, preparing meals, cleaning, getting him medicine. Adam remembered her. How she moved like the wind, the grace in her walk and when her baby had to be aborted, it crushed her spirit. Her indomitable spirit, which gave them hope and held them together. Her blue eyes, full of life, turned pale. She barely smiled and when she did, only to herself, and one could tell, she was still thinking of her baby. Adam had seen people die before, but this, he couldn’t bear to watch.

Adam wanted to console Maria and get her to call the Council, but he knew she never would. He always knew what he needed to do and he knew, today, he was going to do it. As she kissed him on his forehead and left for work, Adam removed the brochure under his bed and leapt for the phone. A few steps seemed like miles to him. He couldn’t see the numbers clearly. ‘622-42…was it a 7 or a 9?’ He punched in 7 and waited for an answer, with each ring, his heart beating faster, an effeminate voice greeted him,’ Ivan Rothko’s pest cleaning services, how may I....’ He hung up, without saying sorry, for he needed all his energy, for what was to follow.

Peering at the brochure, he dialed again, 622-429, the phone rang again…

Revisiting 'Shyamchi Aai'.

2010-05-15T16:08:00.000-07:00

The last time I watched ‘Shyamchi Aai’, it made me laugh and brought tears to my eyes, and made me rush towards my mother to hug her as she returned from work. Ten years later, I had changed, but I could see the depths and details of the movie better and this is my account of what I learnt from and loved in the Marathi master piece, ‘Shyamchi Aai.’

At the outset, Shyam seems like a regular school going child, exuberant and mischievous. He loves to create havoc in school much to the chagrin of his teachers. He is curious and not afraid to question authority. Mind you, he is not a child who does not respect older people or our customs; he is a child who has been raised to question things which do not seem to be in coherence with his moral understanding. He is the leader for the children in his class, whatever he says they follow, and why not, Shyam is a brave kid with a voice full of sense and plausibility, that it is next to impossible to ignore him. The opening scenes describe Shyam’s life full of fun and frolic and adventure, they make the viewer smile, reminding the kids about their similar acts in school or making a 60 year old reminisce memories. Shyam has is the middle child and has two brothers. His is a joint family archetypal of those days. Their father is a person of strong character and a devout follower of Bal Gangadhar Tilak. His mother is a simple woman, but she is not simpleton. She epitomizes the integrity and the dedication of the Indian woman to her family as she strives to raise her children in a family faltering on the economic grounds.

As the story progresses, we see how Sane Guruji, the writer of this autobiographic film, creates a drama which is also a social commentary dealing with myriad themes, relevant till now. Acharya P. Atre, the director of the movie, keeps the movie simple and lucid to understand, never does the movie become too preachy in its tone. We see, Shyam’s father being attacked by some thieves who leave him unharmed thinking about his kids. It’s nice to see, how wonderfully the movie portrays that it is circumstance which leads people on the wrong way and it’s not the people who are wrong. This point is bought up time and again in the movie, as the family suffers to make ends meet, bicker and quarrel with each other, only to realise their mistakes that they still have each other and their love for each other, something which money can never buy. The scene where the mother in law and Shyam’s mother console each other after their minor tiff makes you realise the true strength of family support.

Shyam’s family is deep in debt and the two younger siblings demand a division of property and separate with their own stakes. Shyam’s father falters with the weight of raising a family and paying the debt. We see, how the movie points out that greed binds you to material desires and leads to the splitting in the previously happy joint family. Joint families have become rare now, but whether or not the nuclear archetypes are happier and more efficient functionally is still a prominent question. The family continues to struggle; they build their own humble abode. Shyam’s friends mock him for living in a hut and he says,’ He lives with his parents and wherever his parents live, it would be heaven for him.’

Madhav Vaze as Shyam delivers a master stroke performance and Acharya P. Atre deserves all the credit for getting such a nuanced and impressive performance from an urchin. He makes you laugh and makes your heart wrench out in his misery, he is more than convincing as ‘Shyam’. In one scene, Shyam steals money from his uncle and is caught. His mother is ashamed and hurt but doesn’t beat the boy, a reaction expected from any mother despite the time she lives in. Instead, she consoles her crying child and shows him the right way by teaching him a prayer. There is a scene where she does beat Shyam; it is when he refuses to go to swim, only so to make her children bold and brave. We see Shyam’s father being sent to jail as he supports Lokmanya Tilak. Shyam’s father modestly accepts that he was a small person and he was doing his bit for the freedom struggle, the movie subtly reminds us about our duties towards our mother land and depicts the national fervor at that time. Shyam’s mother forgets to add salt to the food but the family doesn’t complain, they praise her and even Shyam’s younger brother keeps mum, just to appreciate her hard work. This scene exudes sweetness without being schmaltzy and is highly evocative of the strength of one’s family. In one scene, Shyam helps out an aged untouchable lady and the priest curses him to which Shyam cleverly corners him quoting the saints who asked not to discriminate with the fellow humans. The movie plots out the India during those times without any bias but teaches us to be unbiased in outlook and action, a lesson for all the generations to come. The movie makes you laugh, makes you fall in love with Shyam and his world and it breaks your heart to see his family suffer and come to terms with their adversity. The movie entertains and enriches our thoughts however; the climax would leave you heartbroken.

Some might consider Shyam highly devoted to his parents and precocious at times. He is brighter than the average kid and the reason for that is his mother’s upbringing. Vanamala breathed life into the character of Shyam’s mother on screen and outlined the mother’s character for thespians and film makers of future generations. The black and white cinematography is simplistic in nature. The movie enhanced by the melodious tunes of Vasant Desai. The movie is the first Indian film to be awarded The First National Award then known as Golden Lotus Award for The Best Film in 1954. The themes it deals with are still relevant and the film needs to be re-visited by generations to come for the wisdom it offers. If you ever get an opportunity to see this rare gem, then go ahead and watch it, its slow pace and simplicity and its warm and endearing characters would grow over you and who knows by the end of the movie, you might also grow as person.

"50 Things I Learnt From Ghajini."

2009-04-12T01:40:00.000-07:00

Well, here I go hammering Ghajini, the so- called blockbuster and cine wonder of Bollywood. I hate hypocrites and plagiarists. For those of you don’t know (you should have figured out this, by now) Ghajini was “heavily inspired” by a movie called Memento by Christopher Nolan (Director of The Dark Night, The Prestige, The Following and Batman Begins…If you haven’t seen any of these movies and you don’t even plan to see any of these movies, I politely request you to go kill yourself by buying watching the director’s cut of Love Story 2050.) The best part is that almost all these box office wonders in bollywood (Life in a Metro, Hum Tum) seek “inspiration” from some Hollywood movies but even fail to acknowledge that. It doesn’t make sense when you already have the script, the story board and everything ready made for you and you even fail to acknowledge the person who went through all the pain and hard work. BTW, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (ardent SRK fan, always will be) was unfairly compared to Ghajini. Yes, both were well acted but Ghajini was a copied concept and one should give credit to RBNDJ for being original.
I am a frequent visitor on IMDb.com and there one can usually find posts like 50 things you learn from Taken, or Fight Club etc. I found those posts hilarious and here are the “50 things I Learnt from Ghajini”
1) After watching Ghajini, go blog about it.
2) Hell yeah, Revenge is Sweet!!
3) Even Aamir Khan can screw up sometimes.
4) “Vishwas”(Confidence) aur “Ghamand” (Vanity)mein farak hota hai!” (These magical words can change your life.
5) World has achieved “Utopia”; people no more take advantage of people having problems and short comings. (All his employees remain faithful to him even after his injuries.)
6) If you remake a Hollywood movie, you have to make use of all the possible bollywood clichés.
7) If you see the love of your life for the first time, animated and exotic leaves will start falling on her.
8) If you are the C.E.O of a big MNC, you should always drive in a BMW 7 series car followed by 3 black Mercedes, if you don’t do that, then you are not a real big player in the corporate world.
9) The co-workers of a big CEO if see him outside office, they greet him by the ye olde “Salaam Saab”.
10) CEOs personally make sure that the company’s hoardings are placed at the “Right” spots; marketing guys just have a blast in their offices.
11) Models can fantasize themselves as a heroine in the middle of a traffic jam on a busy street.
12) Models travel in empty railway coaches going to Goa.
13) Models are dumb, if their boy friend shows up at a party with a BMW 7 series car followed by 3 black Mercedes and donates 5 lakh Rupees to charity, she still won’t suspect anything.
14) You can pretend to be anyone’s fiancée and not get caught. (This one requires practice.)
15) If the love of your life dies and you lose your memory, you don’t grieve about it, instead you work out heavily.
16) Pre-requisites to being a good Police Inspectors are good reading skills and ability to read any thing.
17) Police Inspectors are basically hopeless romantics, instead of calling for backup they’d rather prefer to read a suspect’s love story.
18) Tattooing can be painful, use Camlin permanent markers instead.
19) If there’s a name tattooed on you, you would NEVER consider googling it or looking up that person on orkut or facebook.
20) Always carry change with you, conductors were born with the right to say “Chutta nahi hai,chutta do nahi toh peeche waale bus mein se jaao”. (This one is very practical.)
21) If your hair cut is unique, people especially bus conductors remember you.
22) If you can tolerate a girl blabbering 24x7 and can actually find her talking pleasant, then you are in "love".
23) The most romantic place to propose to a girl has to be BEST bus.
24) A girl, who agrees to marry you, would NEVER ask about your family, your mother or other stuff, cos that would be too “trivial”.
25) Each love story needs to have two songs, one is sung by the guy when the guy tries to woo his woman and the other one, when he realizes he’s glad and lucky to be with her. (Songs can also be sung to make your woman jealous, to show you are sad and at some points, even to dance before the villains before the ultimate climax fight scene and to add more USP to the movie by throwing in an item number).
26) All the possible rich guys falling for middle class women will have to try Pani Puri. (Presence of a song or background music is compulsory).
27) Aamir Khan extensively researched wild animals to understand their wrath and use it in his antics.
28) If thugs go after you in a train, “DON’T EVER PULL THE CHAIN, TO STOP THE TRAIN” (Use of common sense is a cardinal sin), instead offer them a gold chain.
29) Jiah Khan is extremely awesome. Even if she barely has any role or dialogues, she is great eye candy.
30) If you suffer from a short term memory loss, you would still remember your fiancée but forget your manager, co-workers and friends.
31) If you plan to murder someone, make sure you don’t leave the bus tickets behind, finger prints, weapons used are secondary, bus tickets can screw you up big time.
32) The henchmen of the biggest criminal in town don’t believe in fire power or ammunition, sticks and construction instruments are replacing guns.
33) If you are a good Don/Thug/Small time crook, you have the potential to become a successful industrialist.
34) A good don always believes in diversifying, our beloved Ghajini was into trafficking, selling kidneys and pharmaceuticals.
35) Rajnikanth should deserve special thanks in the credits, since half the stunts were inspired by him.
36) If the movie is almost 3 hour long, then you should make it a point to cram in a song, so that it becomes 3 hour long. (Lattoo Lattoo!!)
37) A.R Rehman’s music can make any horrible movie pleasant and a bit watchable.( Also applicable for Yuvvraaj.)
38) No matter how many kicks and punches you get, nothing happens to the Polaroid camera you are carrying with you.
39) Never trust female students who are planning to do a case study on you.
40) Jiah Khan is awesome eye candy. (Did I already mention it?)
41) If you can mimic Aamir Khan’s reaction when he wakes up every morning, you can prevent your younger siblings from entering your room.
42) Gyms and fitness centers should teach Aamir Khan’s Ghajini antics to help people lose weight.
43) If there are thugs looking for you, make sure your cell phone is on silent mode.
44) Aamir Khan’s favorite meal would be maggi, cos it gets prepared in two minutes, he’d remember he cooked it and hence even manage to finish it.
45) Tattoo important phone numbers on your body; you cannot depend on your cell phones these days.
46) If you wanna look cool, fold into half, the sleeves of your half sleeves shirt. (Wonder why Aamir Khan didn’t do the same for his trousers.)
47) Though “inspired” from Memento, you would still remember every movie made by Rajini when you are watching Ghajini.
48) You are allowed to kill as many people as possible if you have short term memory loss.
49) Bullets, grenades, knife, safety pins, rods, hydrogen bomb et al, try everything on a guy suffering from memory loss, he will still survive and seek retribution.
50) Tell people to watch “Memento" and to appreciate originality and creativity.

'About me' or something not 'About me'

2008-08-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

You were on orkut before visiting this page? You were, I know. The funny thing about orkut is the fact that almost everyone becomes something they dream of or something they want to be.

If you still don’t get me, am talking about the ‘About Me’ section on orkut. It’s totally hilarious! WHY? Hypocrisy makes it hilarious, people write adjectives, adjectives not even defining one tenth of their persona, most insecure people out there tend to describe themselves as something they always wanted to be and maybe they never would be that. It makes me laugh, why can’t people accept themselves the way they are? Be yourself, you can’t run, so what if you ain’t that great, accept yourself first if you really wanna change…

Wow! Don’t I sound like a spiritual guru! But let me put a smile on your face, here are some of the about me “interpretations”, I’d come across, they are right most of the time.* conditions do apply*

‘Hii am the Koolest n da cutest guy out there” which means ‘I look average, My last girl friend dumped me , that too happened 15 years ago and now a days even my imaginary friends are avoiding me’
I had a classmate, it was mandatory for her to use ‘F**k’ in every sentence, I never got the point you know, found it necessary to make fun of every other girl’s assets and accessories (btw, she wasn’t of the Angelina Jolie sorts herself) and she absolutely loved bitching and cribbing! Sometimes I wonder if she was bipolar or something.
Now here’s her about me section:’ Am an angel of the truest kind. I love everything around me and make sure that I put a smile on everyone’s place, People get astounded with my aura, stay away from me ,before my charm gets you and makes you another one of the millions I have charmed with my million dollar smile and mind boggling persona.’(About the smile thing, she really needed a dentist)

Now the more common one’s like:-
‘I am here for Frandship, its everything for me, my Frands form my life, so lets be frands which means that ‘The girls who have met me avoid me and am trying my luck online. What say? Let’s fool around a bit..’

The one more prominent on the women side that have somewhat like 600 or 700 friends:-
‘I am very very very very very cute and am very very very sweet and am super friendly and my smile is beautiful enough to capture empires, grow mercy and mirth in the heart of the most ruthless and cruel people’ which usually means I am going to upload pictures of Priyanka Chopra and Priety Zinta and say I look like them, in your wildest dreams would you have a chance to see my real picture.

The most pathetic part is after writing all this people say ‘I don’t really believe in self praise’

‘Am very funny and I can make anyone smile’ meaning that, I crack a lot of PJs and only I laugh at them and I sent people a lot of forwards through mails and sms.

Open your eyes, you would catch plenty of people, trying to be the heroes of their own stories, only online though. I hope I haven’t offended anyone and if I have I really didn’t mean too! Take care and keep smiling!

And then I knew angels do exist!

2008-06-29T06:02:00.000-07:00

Hey!I wrote this poem for my best friend for her birthday!
this doesn't prove that am highly generic in giving gifts or that I am low on money just a way of saying thanx!
hope u people like it!

sometimes life doesn't go the way u want it 2 b,feel that all the bad things in the world are happening 2 me!:-(
i bang my head against the wall and it doesn't make me feel any better,they say the going is just getting tough n m at the end of my tether!

i oughta be working but i cant concentrate,Einstein ,Mendel atoms n electrons have left them all 2 fate...
i knew things would change,
my life's been better since the day u came!

whenever I hear ur name theres a smile on my face,
hope u know,now that smile never fades!

I really don't know n I wud never know y,
jus ur voice is enough for me 2 kick my troubles good bye!:-)

when i was 5 they told me there was no tooth fairy,when i became 7,there aint no santa claus!:O
Maybe there ain't no god above or below us...

But u changed my mind,
u made me realize angels like u do live with us!
u may look normal n may do seemingly normal things but for me ur my angel with dat supercute smile n no wings!:-)

theres a lot more i cud say,
when u make me feel this way!

guess I can never put into words wat ur 2 me,
without u i'd have misery for company...

jus 2 sum it up I cud say life loses its meaning without u ,
all i can say is I need u for the rest of my life!

Mr. China phone!

2008-06-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

15th May or 16th!
dunno the date is of no importance really!
If you know me very well then u oughta know dat i get bored of things very quickly!
So to find a cure for this itch of me getting bored ,I started observing people n its really gud fun!

Now coming to the point I had to go to KC college to submit my forms.My friends were busy with their work so I had no company!
There were no cute chicks around!*sighs*

There I was at CST,all alone n wet n without ne modern means of entertainment!
Then God looked at his beloved son n sent Mr. China phone to the rescue!

From a distance Mr. China phone looked human,but there was more to Mr. China phone dat met the eye.(Am calling this guy Mr. China phone,cos he had a weird china phone model)

He came,he saw n he sat on the seat opposite to me!
He wore this weird black T n sum ultra-weird shorts!
It made me giggle but I resisted it!

He came,he saw n he sat on the seat opposite to me n den he started playing songs on loudspeaker!

He played Himesh n some other artists i never heard of!
I felt like throwing this guy out of the train but he stopped playing those songs!

He made a call to what seemed was his girl friend,yeah on the loud speaker!Let us call her Mrs. Psycho...

Mr. China phone :Jaan!tum kaha ho?

(I almost puked at the spot,I generally don't hate mushy nick names but JAAN/JAANU word comes on my nerves,I wanted to throw him out of the train,but the thought of my wife n two kids made me stop!)

Mr. China phone :Tum aa rahi ho na?mein tumhara intezaar karronga,yes I missed you too!muah muah muah muah!(he started kissing his phone,I felt bad for his phone,anger rushing through my veins)

Mrs. Psycho:Tumne woh bracelet liya mere liye?Kitna naatak kar rahe ho?Neeta ke boy friend ne use woh ek maheene pehle diya tha?agar tum aaj mujhe woh nahi doge to mein tumse baat nahi karoongi![LOL]

Mr. China phone:par jaan tum uske bina hi bahut khoobsoorat lagti ho!

Mrs. Psycho:tum to bas waade karo,mein tumhe nahi milne aa rahi hoon!

She hung up on him,some passengers laughed about it!

But Mr. China phone was not gonna stop at this!

He made another call,yup,on loudspeaker again!

Mr. China phone:Sun yaar,mein aaj nahi mil sakta!nahi woh nahi aa rahi hai!Bahut nautanki karti hai woh!Mujhe nahi lagta woh mujhse pyaar karti hai!mein chod doonga use!waise bhi mere piche to ladkiyon ki line padi hai!Usse acchi mil jaaegi mujhe!
tum log picture dekh lena!Woh Rekha pata hai na,woh to merepe saalon se fida hai!
Tina to apun ke style pe marti hai!

*style,really??I thought!*

Mr. X:sach mein!Usne hi choda hoga tujhe!Pakau sala!Kabhi teri us Tina se mila mujhe!sirf lambi lambi chodta rehta hai!abey aana,mazaa aayega!bhool ja usko!

Mr. China phone :Saale,tu jal mat!apni personality hi aisi hai!nahi jaane dey!

I wanted to laugh my ass out at the moment,but I resisted!

The guy left at some station!I found him totally hilarious!

Whoever said you need a cell phone or an i-pod to entertain you while traveling!

I said to myself,'Badi badi local trains mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai!'{truly original)

thank you!

2007-11-07T09:50:00.000-08:00

Sometimes confusion blinds me
am blessed with all the misery...
the world's cruel bitter reality is all set 2 bite me...

I dunno where to go...
people tell me things which i never want to know..

am too scared 2 move
so much pain makes my body shiver...

I feel my ship is sinking
as the clock ticks by i guess its time for me to say goodbye....

but theres something which turns away the blues
something which changes my point of view....

its a reason which makes me smile
its a reason for me 2 rejoice

it makes me happy when am low,ur the reason i hope u know.....

u make me feel big inside,
i wonder how u always kick my worries aside.........

a gift from the heavens its easy 2 tell...
thanx 2 u my life wud never be the same...

ur so gr8 so nice
m glad a sister like u didnt come with a price....

2 sum it up ur my blessing in disguise!!!!!!:-)

Pls 4give me!

2007-10-03T10:59:00.000-07:00

sorry for typing in SMS language

people act so stupid at times;i admit am no exception
they hurt the ppl who mean the most 2 them....n i promise i wont do it again

am sorry for that,i was depressed ,down n low...

u can yell at me,scream at me,kick me but pls dont live me......
cos i dont want 2 hate life again.....................its complete with our friendship in it.

i need u now... needed u n will need u for the days 2 come... i hope u know
pls forgive me(like u always do,so i can have a better 2morrow)

for my friend

2007-07-17T03:43:00.000-07:00

well this one is dedicated 2 a good friend of mine!;)

feel that am stranded,no where 2 go
very road seems 2b a dead end,every road leads 2 a place where nobody knows me n where i dont wanna go.
but lifes been better,ur the reason my friend i hope u know!

feel lonely in the croud,i try 2 tell them how i feel
may be am not that loud
maybe they dont understand me
some try and fail 2 do so
u stand apart,how u manage it God only knows!

had a fight,had a long tough day
feeling frustrated,have only misery for company......
but then i find a ray of hope
a girl funny 2 the core who will make me smile!

will help me no matter what!
she will ignore the number of times we have fought,
a person with whom i share my secrets
being ur friend is onething i can never regret

words are the only thing i have 2 describe u
n m certainly lost for words 2 describe u

2morrow might not be as gr8 as 2day
it might b the best day of my life
dunno about 2morrow
or about ne of the coming days,but about one thing am always sure

u will always b there for me,
like u are now
trust me 2 b ur friend is a sheer pleasure!

independence day:)

2007-04-28T05:59:00.001-07:00

YES am growing old
m fed up of being told so
i never do the things i want 2 do
none of my wishes ever come true.......

aptly in this condition m stuck
i dont ask for sympathy
i guess i want a change!

keep slogging night n day
in hope of sumthing better is on its way

i guess no one lives life king size
even if one does he surely has 2 pay the prize

all i want is just a day
no work only play:)
a day 2 relax a day 2 dream

a day on which i dont wake up 2 rush 2the shower,
the day on which i have the power
a day 2 stand and stare;)

a day simply 2 rejoice
but ALAS!i dont have a choice
i can only frown
get a call from work
say,'AM ON MY WAY'
on the corner when the red light glows

my cynical mind begins 2 wander off agaain
i start planning again what would i do on my independence day

a day 2 sit back n sing